Brian Bentley

“The Black Dahlia”
Run time: 2:01

This will be two reviews: one for the movie itself and one for the theater in LA where we saw it, The Arclight.

The movie is very loosely based on the famous unsolved Black Dahlia case. It’s a movie with 4 leads and what seems multiple storylines, but none of them seem to be the Dahlia case itself. Being a work of fiction, the murder does get solved, but when it’s solved you’re left wondering where the hell you where when that plot point arose. Scarlett Johansenn was horrible. She goes for the breathy, 40’s era starlett performance but sounds like she’s missing her asthma inhaler. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Mia Kirshner is incredible (and very sexy) as The Dahlia, but the movie left me wanting to see more of her story.

Rating: 1 out of 5

The Arclight Theater is top notch. Every seat is reserved and each theater is staffed with ushers to make sure cell phones are off, you can find your seat, or keep people from coming in after the movie starts. It has a restaurant and reasonably sized gift shop that held our attention for a good 40 minutes before the show. The staff was freindly, the theater was spotless, the seats were ultra-comfortable and the popcorn had real butter. But “The Black Dahlia” still sucked.

Rating: 5 out of 5

“Beerfest”
Run time: 1:50

I don’t drink, but I do enjoy Broken Lizard and “Beerfest” was funny. Not “Super Troopers” funny, but I wasn’t wishing I had passed up the opportunity to see it (see “Idiocracy”). The story is about two brothers that stumble upon the uber-secret (see what I did there) drinking contest called, Beerfest. They challenge the Germans to a rinking contest and are subsequently embarrassed. The brothers come back to America and decide they will return next year with an Amercian all-star team of drinkers.

There some familiar faces in this one, and tons of great references to other movies. I’ll probably own it, being a Broken Lizard fan, but I won’t necessarily pay to see it again. A very solid 3 on my scale.

Rating: 3 out of 5

“Idiocracy”
Run time: 1:24

Ouch. The name fits. I love Mike Judge’s previous work and I can see the political satire he was going for here, but…wow. There were some laugh out loud funny parts, but not enough to sustain me through the whole movie.

Luke Wilson must owe Mike Judge a favor. Fox dumped this movie into only 130 theaters in 7 select cities and I can see why. This is 2 stinkers in a row for Wilson.

All of the sudden, I liked “The Illusionist” more.

Rating: 0 out of 5

“She’s The Man”
Run time: 1:45

Based on William Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night”, this movie is a modern day take on “woman posing as man” and it is funny. Laugh out loud funny. Amanda Bynes is flat out genius in this. Her facial expressions were priceless throughout and she had me rolling with her performance as her brother Sebastian. It’s everything “Just One of the Guy’s” wanted to be back in the 80’s, but wasn’t. It’s light, fun and safe for the whole family. I would own this. David Cross is hilarious in his role as the school’s headmaster.

The DVD had some decent special features (gag reel, commentary, some deleted scenes, 2 featurettes, and a music video). I highly recommend this film and think big things are in store for Amanda Bynes.

Rating: 3.75 out of 5

“The Illusionist”
Run time: 1:40

No. No. No. Punctated by some stupid lady two seats over that felt the need to comment on EVERY effing thing in the movie. I can’t even rant about the movie or it will spoil it for those of you that dare to see it. I really like Paul Giamatti in this, but I’m getting tired of the “Ed Norton only does edgy, indie type work”. Puh-lease.

Here’s “The Illusionist” in six words: Ed Norton made my $8 disappear.

Rating: 2 out of 5

“Little Miss Sunshine”
Run time: 1:41

The darling of this year’s Sundance, “Little Miss Sunshine” is a dark comedy/road trip/dysfuntional family movie that gives a wonderful cast a wonderful script to work with. Directed by MTV Video Awards winners Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris, this movie is full of stereotypical characters, but it is so well acted that none of the characters seem derivative or cutouts. The plot is set around the family’s trek from New Mexico to California to get their youngest daughter to the “Little Miss Sunshine” pageant - hence the title. Greg Kinnear and Toni Collete are the parents taking young Olive (the adorable Abigail Breslin) to the event. Accompanying them are their oldest son, who has taken a vow of silence (excellently played by Paul Dano), Kinnear’s acerbic father (Alan Arkin) and Collette’s suicidal, homosexual brother (”The Office’s” Steve Carrell).

It did get slow right before the 3rd act, but the ending had me laughing so hard I couldn’t see or breathe, and I think I might have dribbled a bit in my shorts.

GO SEE THIS MOVIE.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5

“Talldega Nights: The Legend of Ricky Bobby”
Run time: 1:37

After such box office turds as “Kicking & Screaming” (which I saw) and “Bewitched” (which I was smart enough not to see), Will Ferrell reunites with “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy” co-writer and director Adam McKay for “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby”. I’m not sure if using a colon in every movie they do is necessary, but it’s worked so far. The whole gang is back with John C. Reilly thrown into the mix as Ricky Bobby’s teammate and best friend, Cal Naughton, Jr. Who knew NASCAR could be this funny?

If you saw “Anchorman” and still quote it at family dinners and office gatherings, then prepare to add to your useless movie quote pantheon with “Ricky Bobby” until it aggravates the whole group. Yes, I’m speaking from experience.

Rating: 4.25 out of 5

“Clerks 2″
Run time: 1:37

The sequel to the critically acclaimed independent feature that cost $27k and put Kevin Smith on the map, “Clerks 2″ is not just a sequel. Hell, “Clerks” isn’t necessarily even required viewing to get the point. What is necessary is good listening skills (Smith’s dialogue is notoriously bulky) and a thick skin. You will get all sorts of inappropriate swear words, conversations and images. I, however, find this kind of stuff extremely amusing so I had a fun time, and I also loved the two homages to “Silence of the Lambs” and one of my favorite all time films, “Bacheor Party”.

I’m a big Kevin Smith fan so the streak continues.

Rating: 3.75 out of 5

“Strangers With Candy”
Run time: 1:37

The prequel to the critically acclaimed Comedy Central series featuring Jerri Blank, a 46 year-old ex-junkie, ex-con who returns to high school in a bid to start her life over in effort to revive her dad from a coma. Did I mention it’s presented like an after school special?

Second City alums Amy Sedaris, Steven Colbert and Paul Dinello co-wrote the film, which was produced by David Letterman’s Worldwide Pants company.

I highly recommend this movie to anyone that has an offbeat sense of humor or finds the laugh in the wrong things. You will love this movie.

Rating: 4 out of 5

“Superman Returns”
Run time: 2:37

Remember what I said about Bryan Singer in my X-Men 3 review? Well, “Superman Returns” is a movie with a great script and a top level director. The story is a new idea and not based on a particular comic storyline and I enjoyed it. This is not the tongue in cheek 80’s version, and I don’t say that because Richard Pryor isn’t in it, but because it’s intended to be a thought provoking story.

Newcomer Brandon Routh is the Man of Steel and he does a great job bringing separation to the Kal-El/Clark Kent/Superman triumvirate, giving each it’s own personality and conflicts. Kevin Spacey is Lex Luthor. I don’t mean plays Luthor, he is Luthor. Spot on performance. Kate Bosworth is the now jaded reporter Lois Lane, but it’s hard to see her as a brunette….or maybe that’s just my hang-up.

It starts off like it’s going to be non-stop action and sort of slows down into the story from there. And at 2 and a half hours long, it can feel slow if you’re not a Superman fan. I really, really liked it, but I can’t say it was the best movie I have ever seen. I can say that I will see it again.

Rating: 4 out of 5

“Cars”
Run time: 1:56

I love Pixar movies. Yeah, I said it. I love the fact that they take everyday objects, in this case all things cars, and turn them into a world of it’s own and make a movie that entertains kids, but also isn’t too simple for adults.

“Cars” is about a race car voiced by Owen Wilson who, on his way to the Piston Cup final in California, ends up in tiny little Radiator Springs, right along Route 66. I don’t want to give too much of the plot away because it’s a good movie. It did get slow briefly, but the story is solid and the all-star voices (Paul Newman, Bonnie Hunt, Larry the Cable Guy, George Carlin, Cheech Marin and some surprises) fit the characters well.

As per all Pixar movies, I suggest you stay through the credits.

Rating: 5 out of 5

“Nacho Libre”
Run time: 1:40

If you know me, then you know I enjoy a movie about a preist that moonlights as a mexican luchador as much as the next guy, and “Nacho Libre” is one of those movies. Jack Black is the star and ball of energy in this movie whose childhood dream was to be a famed Mexican luchador, but he has grown up in an orphanage and is now the resident cook and part-time monk.

This movie was directed and co-written by Jared Hess of “Napoleon Dynamite” fame and I have to say that I laughed consistently at this movie. Hector Jimenez steals almost every scene he is in as Nacho’s tag team partner, Esqueleto. The pace does slow briefly towards the middle, but this Nickelodeon Films (yes, the kid’s channel) is family friendly and will have you cheering “Nachooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”

Rating: 4 out of 5

“The Break Up”
Run time: 1:46

I can appreciate the attempt to bring a new twist to the romantic comedy genre. I can appreciate Vince Vaughn’s sense of humor. I can look at Jennifer Aniston for extended periods of time with no problem, either. However, I’m married so if I wanted to see a movie about people fighting and not wanting to live with each other then I go stir up a hornet’s nest with Melinda.

The effort is there, the thought is there, but the execution and ending aren’t. Go if you want to break up with $8.

Rating: 2 out of 5

“X-Men:The Last Stand”
Run time: 1:27

I love movies like this - meant for kids, but with plenty of references adults will get a chuckle out of. “Over the Hedge” is funny. Really funny. The characters are loveable, the story moves quickly and the all-star cast of voices is the icing on the cake. Bruce Willis is RJ, a racoon who finds himself under a tight deadline to replenish a bear’s food in one week. He stumbles upon a family of animals led by Verne the turtle, voiced by Garry Shandling, who are beginning the process of storing food for the winter. The cast is rounded out by William Shatner, Nick Nlte, Wanda Sykes and Steve Carrell who steals every scene his character, Hammy the squirrel, jitters and jolts into.

“Hedge” is a great movie for kids and adults and a movie I would go see again.

Rating: 5 out of 5

“X-Men:The Last Stand”
Run time: 1:44

Yes, one man can ruin a movie — or the absense thereof. Brian Singer’s direction on the first two X-Men movies was great, but I have to admit he had excellent scripts to work with. In this one, not so much. Brett Ratner gets a script that takes one of the comics best storylines ever (Phoenix), leaves out some of the characters from X-Men 2 (Nightcrawler) and sort of grazes over things while tallying a high body count, with some surprises.

The original X-Men was high on action and introduced the characters. X-Men 2, furthered the storylines and delved intot he characters as people. X-Men 3 does neither. If you a huge fan of the comics, you will hate this movie. If you are a fan of the movies, you’ll like it but you won’t be overwhelmed. I’m stuck in the middle.

Rating: 3 out of 5